12. Regarding #10 and the curious disjunction between a person’s relative sanity and respectability and the respective visual cues they project: similarly, young, hip-looking, well-dressed persons with new shoes do not wander aimlessly with bags of smelly clothes in the city; nor do such seemingly put-together persons engage in audible conversations with the people in their head on the bus and then switch gears entirely and engage in conversations with the very real persons sitting next to or behind them. Here, apparently, all bets are off. Crazy people who look like sane people may try to talk to you. Watch out.
12b. I have come to certain understandings about when it is and is not okay to permeate a stranger’s bubble and engage them in conversation. These circumstances include but are not limited to:
a. begging their pardon to pass them in a narrow or crowded space
b. engaging in knowing eye-brow raises in response to an unusual public occurrence
c. asking hopelessly confused tourists if they need assistance or offering alternate transit routes to those caught unawares by service changes
These rules, being rather particular to New York and its subway, are clearly unfamiliar to Angelinos, and they cannot be blamed for this.
However, you will note the distinct lack of reference to or implication of engaging strangers in idle, unsolicited, and possibly unwanted conversation as a condoned activity in this list. This is because this does not happen in New York. There is, in fact, an unspoken understanding, parallel to the above list, that includes quite emphatically NOT engaging strangers in idle, unsolicited and possibly unwanted conversation. This is not a matter of unfriendliness, or zenophobia; quite the contrary. It is what makes subway commutes bearable, even pleasant; it allows for safe people-watching; it is, in fact, the foundation of the beautiful, cherished contradiction of New York life: public anonymity. The unfamiliarity of Angelinos to this rule (and the context that birthed it) makes me feel incredibly, incredibly vulnerable in public spaces.
I may need to start wearing a sign. Or maybe a monkey mask.
